Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
