Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
