The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
