That's when you crack a 10am beer
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
