My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
