i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
