just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
