You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
