you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
