Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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