How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
