Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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