She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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