And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
