don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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