I am in a vortex of obligation.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
