So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
His hands were made for my vagina.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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