new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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