New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
