so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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