Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
