just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
