NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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