The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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