Do you still have your period?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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