whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
