Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
