Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Vodka?
Forever.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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