I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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