is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
