How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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