he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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