I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
