You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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