She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
