There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
