Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
