I hate all girls vehemently.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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