Its about making memories worth repressing
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
