idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
