I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
