Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
