next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
