Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
