And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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