i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
