i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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