Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize
