Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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