I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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